Zack Langford: 3 year-old Denied Obamacare

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One night before Christmas, a Hawaii-vacation-bound President Barack Obama “encouraged” American families to eschew usual yuletide meanderings around “holiday” trees in favor of donning Swee’Pea footie-pajamas while surfing Healthcare.gov.

Of course, his eponymous Obamacare law, that neither protects patients nor allows affordable acts of care, MANDATES such forays on the government’s insecure website lest one have any refund due from his anti-tea partier-IRS withheld.

The results of one family’s Merry Christmas dialogue appear below:

Dear Mr. President,

I am currently typing this blog post as I sit on hold with the Healthcare.gov marketplace help line. I am doing everything I possibly can to sign up for health insurance (which is required by law) so that my family can have the care that they need next year now that our current plan has been taken away from us.

Despite repeated attempts since October (no less than a dozen, including roughly four alone last week) to submit an application and select a plan, I have run into a myriad of different issues.

While simply signing up has been extremely frustrating and still needs to be resolved, a much more pressing problem that I am having with this process is that according to my recently received eligibility notice from healthcare.gov, my kids (ages 1 and 3) are not eligible to buy health insurance through the exchange.

What is confusing about this is that my wife and I are eligible.

Not only is my oldest son not able to receive insurance through the exchange, he is not eligible for ANY other government program according to my official eligibility requirement.

Here is a screenshot of the eligibility notice that I received:

Screenshot-2013-12-23-22.41.51

Notice that my wife and I are eligible. Calls to healthcare.gov confirmed this, but they could not do anything to help me or answer our questions about his eligibility. Why is he not eligible when we meet all of the requirements (income level, no employer provided insurance, etc)?
Here is my problem:

I have spent many hours on the phone help line with different healthcare representatives and not a single one can give me an answer. Each one of the representatives has said that this eligibility status is “weird” and they have all wondered aloud why my oldest son is not eligible for anything.

One even exclaimed, “That’s not right!”

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