Teen Sex: On Learning the Hard Way

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While perusing Twitter last week, I ran across this Newsbusters article, “HuffPo Blog Encourages Teen Sex Sleepovers to Parents.”

As someone who one day hopes to become a father, the suggestions in the actual Huffington Post article creeped me out a more than little bit.

Who talks about their sex lives openly with anyone, let alone their parents?

HuffPo writer, Soraya Chemaly, asserts that encouraging teen sexuality and allowing it to be openly discussed would be a boon. She believes that it would lead to more responsible sexual behavior. Making teens more comfortable with their sexual decisions, she reasons, would cause them to take less risks than if they hid those choices.

Is this really the outcome we should expect were we to follow her advice?

Consider something for a moment. Over the course of your life, would you say you’ve made some mistakes? I would imagine the answer is almost universally yes. Now, another consideration. How many of those mistakes were due to the inexperience and recklessness of youth? Again, most likely youthful indiscretion the cause of many of those mistakes.

We call that “learning the hard way.”

We learn from our experiences not to repeat bad decisions, and then discourage our children from repeating our mistakes. They may not listen, but we do not intentionally inflict our own hardships (or those we have witnessed) on our children by encouraging them to commit them.

Yet, according to Ms. Chemaly, that is precisely what we should be doing regarding our teenagers and sex. After all, it is not as though teens could make bad choices in the heat of the moment amid all the hormones. Every teenager thinks of using protection while having sex. And they most certainly always choose the right person to have sex with — never someone immature, controlling or possessive.

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