SpongeBob SquarePants – New Hero to Conservatives (Seriously)


by Carly Hill

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
(SpongeBob SquarePants)
Absorbant and yellow and porous is he.
(SpongeBob SquarePants)

SpongeBob is a cartoon that most of you political types probably never think about (or maybe you do, ya bunch of weirdos). But, conservatives have started singing this yellow sponge’s praises. In an upcoming episode, SpongeBob is laid off by his boss, Mr. Krabs. So, SpongeBob’s buddy, Patrick (the blobby starfish guy), responds saying, “Being unemployed is the best gig I know” to which good old SB replies, “Unemployment may be fun for you, but I need to get a job.”


While most liberals won’t tell you that they support Moochers, their votes and political stances say otherwise. Sure, in a perfect world, tax payer money would only go toward helping actual needy people. But the truth is, my oober-liberal biological father just called me the other day, so excited to tell me that he was getting a free body scan – just to make sure his organs were healthy. My dad is the healthiest person you know. And he’s unemployed because he wants to be. My job is paying for his needless body scan. That’s the truth.

Continue Reading at GenFringe.com

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