SLOTH: Evil Loves Laziness


by Doug Giles

Do any of you remember back in the day when, if you were a listless, visionless, slack-jawed, gum-smackin’ laggard, your parents and peers would look at you weirdly and they wouldn’t make excuses for you, or say you have some special disease like “lazyassotosis”, and that’s why you’re such a daft dasypygal?

In addition, how many can hearken back to a bygone era when you actually would be held criminally liable, or at least looked at weirdly, by culture when you didn’t try to help, if able, to stop a crime or rescue a damsel in distress?

Further, and I’m really going to date myself with this one, can any of you remember giving those able-bodied relatives of yours who sponged off the government that same look your dog gives you when he catches you having sex? Y’know what I’m talking about don’t you? That furrowed-brow gaze of confusion, disdain and personal embarrassment that makes you slowly back out of the room said person is in.

Historically, culturally and ecclesiastically speaking we used to view the slothful as the sinful. Nowadays, getting your money for nothing and your check for free is seen as a right; and people actually revel in what used to be a shame.

So, what is sloth?

Sloth is, essentially, the desire to sit on your butt and pick lint from your navel because you’re a jaded and dejected, bleak little monkey. Sloth is the sin, according to Dorothy Sayers, “which believes nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, loves nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, and only remains alive because there is nothing it will die for.”

The decadent tub of spiritual lard that’s satiated with this swill will not lift a finger to fight insanity or to stand for God or country because, to them, there isn’t anything worth getting riled up about. As they see it, life has sucked, does suck and will continue to suck, and they feel there’s nada they can do about it. Therefore, don’t ask or expect them to cheerlead any cause because the world, according to this gloomy group, is irrevocably hell-bent-for-leather. And anyways, being a sluggard is a simple sin in that all you have to do to do this is do nothing when you’re supposed to do something.

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