School Bans Duck Dynasty


by Onan Coca

A school district in southern Virginia is finally standing up to stop violence in the school system. They have stepped forward to take definitive action against the latest scourge to school safety – Duck Dynasty t-shirts. We all know those dangerous fellows from the famous A&E reality show Duck Dynasty; those men who champion violence by supporting hunting and fishing, who champion misogyny by providing for their families in such a way that their wives can be stay-at-home mothers, who champion “hillbillyism” by keeping long, unkempt beards!

Thankfully, Dinwiddie High School, in Dinwiddie, Virginia is brave enough to take a stand against the backwards cultural values that teach our children to be responsible, self-sufficient, honest and hard-working.

Dinwiddie student, Hunter Spain, was told by the school that he could not wear the t-shirt because of the words printed on the front, “I Will Hurt You Physically and Metaphysically.” Of course, this had to be a blatant attempt by the young student to physically and metaphysically intimidate his fellow students into submission.

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