President Pinocchio’s War of Distraction


by Molli Nickell, Granny Guerrilla

Once upon a time, the Prince of Hopenchange stomped angrily around the White Castle.

He jumped on the furniture, and kicked his golf bag so hard he snapped the shaft of his favorite putter.

Why was he so filled with rage?

Because, for the first time ever, he had been caught in his gollywhomper lies.

“Like your doctor? Keep your doctor. Period.”

“Like your healthcare plan? Keep your healthcare plan. Period.”

Being nailed as a “mis-spoken teller of incorrect truth” had caused the Prince of Hopenchange’s popularity and job approval ratings to plummet. Even his media lap dogs had turned against him. Instead of being cheered as the “Chosen One,” he was mocked and called “The Lying King,” and “President Pinocchio.”

All those years of campaigning for his healthcare plan, traveling hither and yon, toughing it out in five-star golf resorts, accompanied by teleprompters, valets, drama coaches, and food tasters . . . all that effort had been expended for nothing. His adoring public had lost that lovin’ feeling.

How did this happen? Increasing numbers of citizens learned what was in the 2,000+ pages of his healthcare law. They discovered what he had known all along. Obamacare would force millions of citizens to lose their healthcare plans and doctors and be shoved into insurance programs they couldn’t afford and didn’t want. Obamacare had been exposed for what it was: redistribution of wealth in America, a yellow brick road leading to single-payer socialized medicine. Medicaid for all. Quality for none.

Desperate to escape the mantle of responsibility, the Prince snuck into a basement vault to consult his most trusted oracle.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall,
am I still beloved by all?”

“Poof!” The image of the magic mirror lady, Ezmerelda, floated into the mirror.

“Hello Dearie. You might want to rephrase? Begin with a question I can answer in a positive manner.”

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