Perfect! Hitlery Is On Rat Poison. Seriously. After All, She Is A Rat!


OK, so she enjoys a little rat poison before bedtime. Is that so wrong!?

The rumors they are a flying as to exactly what is wrong with Hitlery Clinton. She has been freaking out onstage, having coughing spells, laughing fits at completely inappropriate times, like when she howled about Gadaffi’s brutal murder and two heroes about to lose their lives on a rooftop in Benghazi.

According to Dr. Lisa Bardack, Hitlery’s personal physician, via the New York Times (July, 2015), “Mrs. Clinton, 67, regularly takes thyroid hormone to bring her levels to normal as well as the anticoagulant drug Coumadin to help prevent new blood clots.”

Coumadin is also known as Warfarin, which is a blood thinner on steroids, so effective a blood thinner that it is the active ingredient in rat poison. Ingesting Warfarin causes mice and rats to bleed to death internally.


Warfarin is also very toxic to the liver. Combined with the Wicked Witch of Benghazi’s well-known drinking habits, it is lethally dangerous.

So, is Hitlery’s obvious malady causing her bizarre behavior or is she just bizarre naturally? And what is that malady? Is it Parkinson’s, a brain tumor, a reaction to her medications, or some combination of the three. Hard to say at this point, but should Hitlery prevail in November, God forbid, I’ll lay odds on there being a President Tim Kaine in the not so distant future.

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