Ole’ McConnell on the Farm, E-I-E-I-OH what a stinker!


by Molli Nickell, Granny Guerrilla

Once upon a time, a very, very old (but kindly appearing) rooster named Ole’ McConnell lived on the farm.


And on this farm, he had a job.


Ole’ McConnell cock-a-doodle-dooed here, and cock-a-doodle-dooed there, and sounded the alarm when danger appeared on the horizon. It appeared he was performing his task with determination and courage.

E-I-E-I-OH, but was that really the case?

Behind the barn, Ole’ McConnell made compromise deals with the predators. He allowed fox, weasel, and chicken hawk to snatch their allotment of eggs and chicks on a once-a-week basis.

E-I-E-I-OH what a turncoat!

The farmer had no clue. He believed his trusted rooster was performing his duties. In order to maintain that illusion, every once in a while, ole’ McConnell would stage a crisis, then “cock-a-doodle-doo” to warn of danger. The farmer would rush out, shotgun in hand, only to spot the predator disappearing into the woods. Ole’ McConnell would be rewarded with lavish praise and a handful of corn.

E-I-E-I-OH such a sweet deal I’m telling you.

Every week, several eggs and chicks (occasionally a fully-grown chicken) would vanish in the dead of night. The survivors (intimidated into being deaf, dumb, and blind) pretended nothing was wrong.

E-I-E-I-OH how they hoped they, and their offspring, would survive the next raid.

Then, along came Teddy, a Bantam rooster with a different agenda. He knew his job was to protect eggs and chicks. He questioned Ole’ McConnell’s policy of sacrificing the few to keep the peace.

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