Joe the Plumber for Hire


by Joe Wurzelbacher

This is for all you liberal scumbags: “Joe The Plumber” is for hire.

Every day, I get comments on Twitter, Facebook and through emails asking me to fix their toilet, install a water heater or someone needing their drains cleaned. But I’ve removed the language which would make it obvious they’re being demeaning, thinking they “got me” or insulting me. Sorry, doesn’t work fools – and here’s why:

First of all; I love plumbing. It’s a very honorable trade and is honest, hard work which takes a skill most people don’t have. Some people foolishly think it’s beneath them. They think people who plumb, build houses or work with their hands are beneath them as well.

Secondly, I would have no problem coming to anyone of your houses to make a repair, troubleshoot a leak or install your dishwasher. I enjoy working – it gives me and most of us that do this kind of work a sense of accomplishment most white collar workers don’t feel often. Sometimes we have to figure out what the problem is and sometimes through experience we already know what the problem is and we fix it. People’s problems go away and they’re happy. Nothing wrong with that.

Men in the trades are men of action. We don’t wait around and let someone else do the work – we see a problem and we want – in fact, we need to fix it. That’s how we are built. You on the other hand, are the ones we laugh at. I mean, seriously:

– You can’t fix a toilet?
– You don’t know how to shut the water off to your own home?
– You don’t know how to light your own water heater?
– You don’t know how to change a flat tire, change you oil?
– You don’t know how remove, clean and install a p-trap?

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