By Taleeb Starkes
Clash Daily Guest Contributor
Before committing the blasphemous and daring act of openly criticizing Dear Leader, it is obligatory that I first purify my spirit by reciting Dear Leader’s prayer.
That way, the Black community doesn’t condemn my soul for placing critical thinking over Black solidarity. It’s common knowledge that Blacks who criticize Dear Leader are considered “sell-outs” while Whites are labeled “racists.”
Even the Congressional Black Carcass (oops) Caucus knows that Dear Leader is untouchable. Congresswoman Maxine Waters once confessed to a Detroit crowd:
“We don’t put pressure on the president, let me tell you why. We don’t put pressure on the president because ya’ll love the president. You love the president. You’re very proud…to have a black man [in the White House]…First time in the history of the United States of America. If we go after the president too hard, you’re going after us.”
In short, Dear Leader could authorize drone strikes in the hood and Blacks would accept it without question.
Herman Cain, on the other hand, isn’t even allowed to deliver pizzas there without being questioned.
Anyway, without further ado, in this manner I pray:
Our Father who art in the White House, hallowed be thy name. Thy Constitution-less Kingdom come, thy will be done, in America as it is in the hood. Give us this day, our daily handouts and forgive our criminality, although we won’t forgive the White man for criminalizing us. And lead us not into self-sufficiency, but deliver us from patriotism. For thine is the Constitution-less kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever and ever and ever and ever.
Wow, after saying Dear Leader’s prayer, I now feel Blacker than ever, and I’m suddenly having second thoughts about criticizing him. Maybe I should just shut up and embrace today’s rationing of “Hope and Change.” Besides, Dear Leader has a strong disdain for dissenters.
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