Dougie Aficionado Michelle Obama’s 50th Birthday Dance Party


by Jeannie DeAngelis

Image via jdwfoto /

On January 17th First Lady Michelle Obama turns 50 years old.

Menopausal Michelle is about to mark a half-century of a truly remarkable life. And a nation reeling from insurance premium sticker shock, higher income taxes for those with income, and healthcare horrors is about to be unmercifully subjected to hearing about yet another fun Obama family celebrity-filled gala.

Michelle’s big 5-0 arrives on a Friday, so the White House planned the birthday bash for the following night. The guest list is still a big mystery, but one would guess that Beyoncé and Jay-Z (Bey and Jay) will attend because according to “Save-the-Date” emails the party is supposed to be a “Let’s Move!” extravaganza dubbed alliteratively as “Snacks & Sips & Dancing & Dessert.”

In fact, on a December 16th visit to a children’s hospital, Michelle announced that her birthday celebration “might involve some dancing. A little Dougie.”

And that it will! Guests are being instructed to wear comfy shoes, to eat before they arrive and, between now and the big day, to spend time practicing their best Napoleon Dynamite dance moves. In other words: cheap hosts, no food, AARP-approved footwear, and a full night of “Sweating to the Oldies!”

Yes folks, this is sure to be a party anybody 50 and over would hate to miss.

Quite frankly, although Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid would never admit it, for the Centrum Silver/Cialis/estrogen patch crowd they run with, staying home in slippers and drooling on the couch is probably more appealing, especially if Beyoncé shows up and insists on burning up the dance floor in spike heels.

And the “eat before you come” instructions! Is that any way for a “piece of the pie/share the wealth” advocate to treat guests? If an Italian were in the White House the instructions would read:

“Come ready to mangia! Wear really loose pants, and if you make a pig of yourself, non ti preoccupare, no one will notice if you grab a nap between dinner and dessert.”

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