Dear fellow customers, here’s something we should all stop doing forever


by Matt Walsh

Dear fellow customers,

I know we all get a kick out of complaining about ‘bad service.’

It’s quite the release, isn’t it? It’s a great way to make friends, too. If you want to break the ice with a bunch of strangers, all you need to do is strike up a conversation about the Denny’s waitress who took 8 minutes to bring your drink orders last week. EIGHT MINUTES, can you believe it? You LITERALLY almost died of thirst. DIED. OF THIRST. LITERALLY. Others in the group will shake their heads in commiseration and console you for having been forced to endure such a heinous (not to mention potentially fatal) assault against your dignity. Next thing you know, everyone will be sharing their own harrowing dramas of inhumane persecution at the hands of inattentive customer service personnel.

You just can’t find decent service these days, you’ll all agree.

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