Church People, Let’s Get Real!


At the risk of sounding like a heretic, when I talk to people in church I like to use words that one might actually use in conversation on a regular basis outside of church with actual humans.

Is it too much to ask when I enter a church building I won’t be bombarded by terms and idioms that are buzz words to let you know you are speaking to a highly evolved Christian entity, meanwhile a non-believer joining you believes he just entered a foreign country.

I asked a church member when I saw him the other day how he was doing. Pretty common inquiry don’t ya think? Normally answered in the real world with deep philosophical responses like …” OK” or “ Pretty good” or even if they’re particularly charitable “ fine…and you”?

But this guy didn’t say any of those things; instead he had a response only found in the rarefied language of the land of Churchianity. He said he was ”blessed”.

He said blessed but took umbrage when I started worshipping him. One of the definitions for blessed is “worthy of adoration, reverence or worship “. You would think if he admitted he was adorable he wouldn’t mind being adored.

Apparently his “blessed” was of the other definition meaning “ divinely or supremely favored”, this I found problematic because the dude is bald.

I always figured if God found me specifically favored he would allow me to keep my hair thus making it easier for mere mortals not to laugh when they looked at me, as well as confirming my “blessed-ness”.

By the way, I have no problem responding positively about where you are in your life based on the very Christian idea that we are to be content in all things. But the Bible also say’s we can’t lie and I’m sorry oh great man of faith but sometimes…life sucks!

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