Al Gore: The Greedy Green Prince Who Just Won’t Go Away


Once upon a time, in a country of decent and hard working people, there lived a politician who sought adoration, money, and power. But, alas and alack, although he put forth his best effort and presented his oh-so-sincere speeches (with his lovely wife at his side) far and wide across the land, ultimately he suffered an election defeat at the hands of a grammatically challenged candidate who struggled to pronounce difficult words like “new-clar” (meaning nuclear).

Well ratz! To keep himself in the public eye, the attention-starved politician flip-flopped from politics to pollution and reinvented himself as the Prince of Green, protector of all things green including trees, algae, and Kermit. He denounced the evils of big oil, supported energy generated by shrimp on treadmills, and created a global warming scheme that generated buckets of green back dollars and turned him into a “fat cat,” financially and physically.

He tirelessly promoted himself while pontificating to save the planet even though legitimate scientific evidence proved that Earth was moving through a normal cycle of change and really, truly didn’t need saving. Irregardless of the truth, the Prince of Green sold millions of copies of his book, built a carbon-gobbling mansion, produced a documentary designed to scare the c-c-carbon out of viewers, received a gold Oscar, and a divorce—in that order.

In order to sell more books, “Earth First” bumper stickers and t-shirts, and his green agenda, the Prince of Green launched his very own cable network, Current TV. Unfortunately, the uber-left progressives and fruit-loop environmentalists he hired to represent his viewpoints attracted few viewers and even fewer greenback dollars. The prince decided to dump the network—speedy quick—since capital gains taxes were about to increase.

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